Essay

Why Does God Say that Marriage is Between a Man and a Woman?

You may be wondering why The Family: A Proclamation to the World is so specific about marriage between a man and a woman. Why does that particular relationship matter so much in God’s plan?

Although popular culture often claims that marriage is simply a private arrangement defined by two adults who love each other, the restored gospel teaches something more. Marriage between a man and a woman is not an arbitrary restriction or an outdated social custom. It reflects God’s pattern for eternal family.

In the beginning of the Bible, God lays out the foundations of this pattern. Simply put, marriage between a man and a woman is:

Reflected in Heaven Rooted in creation Reiterated throughout all scripture Repeated by Jesus and His prophets and apostles Reinforced in temple ordinances Represented by Christ and the Church

1. Reflected in Heaven: Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother

The pattern begins with our own origin. We are children of the combined parentage of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother.

That truth gives us an eternal pattern for understanding why both man and woman matter in God’s plan. Paul taught that “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).

President Dallin H. Oaks expressed the same doctrine simply:

“Our theology begins with heavenly parents. Our highest aspiration is to be like them.”

Marriage between a man and a woman therefore points back to the kind of parentage from which we came and the kind of eternal family life Heavenly Father is preparing us to receive.

2. Rooted in Creation: A Mother and Father

When God established human life on earth, He repeated this male-and-female pattern with Adam and Eve. He brought them together as husband and wife and commanded them to “be fruitful, and multiply” (Genesis 1:27–28).

This is why the Family Proclamation intentionally returns to the Creation account when it teaches about marriage and parenthood. The same pattern becomes physical in the creation of a child.

New human life begins through the complementary reproductive powers of a woman and a man. This is why the Family Proclamation connects marriage, sexual intimacy, motherhood, fatherhood, and children rather than treating them as unrelated parts of life.

The Proclamation also teaches that fathers and mothers have distinct responsibilities while working as “equal partners.” The child is welcomed into the loving relationship of the mother and father through whom that child receives mortal life.

Although popular culture often claims that men and women are interchangeable in every respect, the gospel teaches that their differences can serve a sacred purpose. Equality does not require women and men to be identical. God’s pattern brings their distinct capacities together in the work of creating, welcoming, and nurturing life.

3. Repeatedly Taught by Jesus and His Apostles

Jesus Himself pointed His disciples back to “the beginning.” He taught that the Creator “made them male and female” and joined the man to his wife so that the two became “one flesh” (Matthew 19:4–6).

Throughout His mortal ministry, Jesus consistently treated marriage between a man and a woman as part of God’s Creation pattern—not as a temporary cultural arrangement. He referred to husbands and wives, taught about becoming “one flesh,” and used marriage and family relationships to explain covenant faithfulness, commitment, and love.

The Savior’s Apostles continued teaching this same pattern after His Resurrection. Paul taught that “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11). He also connected marriage with Christ’s relationship to the Church, teaching husbands and wives about love, sacrifice, unity, and covenant responsibility (Ephesians 5:25–33). The teaching did not end with the New Testament. Christ’s Apostles and prophets have continued to affirm that marriage between a man and a woman belongs to God’s eternal plan, including in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

The gospel’s teaching about marriage does not begin with modern social expectations. It begins with God’s Creation pattern, was taught by Jesus Christ, repeated by His Apostles, and reaffirmed by His prophets in every generation.

4. Reiterated Throughout All Scripture

The pattern of marriage between a man and a woman appears throughout scripture. The Bible begins with a marriage (Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, joined together in the first marriage) and it ends with a marriage (Christ is presented as the Bridegroom and His covenant people as His bride (Revelation 19:7–9). Marriage therefore creates a scriptural frame: the Bible begins with marriage at the Creation and closes with marriage as a symbol of the Savior’s eternal covenant with His people.

The Book of Mormon also begins and ends with family and covenant relationships. It opens with Lehi seeking to protect and teach his family during a time of spiritual and political danger. It closes with Moroni speaking to future generations and inviting them to come unto Jesus Christ. Throughout the book, God’s covenant work moves through families—from parents to children, from prophets to their descendants, and from one generation to another.

The books of Moses and Abraham likewise place family and marriage within the larger story of Creation and God’s plan. Moses begins with God revealing the Creation, including Adam and Eve, and later describes Adam and Eve bringing forth children. The Book of Abraham begins with Abraham seeking the blessings of the patriarchal order and then unfolds into teachings about premortal life, the Creation, male and female, and the purpose of mortal existence.

The Doctrine and Covenants are Jesus Christ’s revelations about marriage, sealing, family, and eternal life. These teachings reach a high point in the revelations on celestial marriage and the sealing power, especially in Doctrine and Covenants 131:1–4 and Doctrine and Covenants 132:19. It also uses the image of the marriage of the Lamb to describe the Savior’s return and the gathering of His covenant people (Doctrine and Covenants 58:11).

Taken together, the scriptures present a consistent pattern: God begins with marriage between a man and a woman, works through covenant families across generations, and ultimately gathers His people into an eternal relationship with Jesus Christ. Marriage and family are not isolated teachings added to the gospel. They are woven through the scriptural story, from Creation to the final triumph of the Lamb of God.

5. Reinforced in the House of the Lord: Bound on Earth and in Heaven

The pattern continues in the temple through the initiatory, the endowment, and the sealing ordinance.

In the sealing, a man and woman enter the covenant of eternal marriage and are sealed as husband and wife for time and eternity. The Savior’s language about heaven and earth becomes especially meaningful here: through His sealing authority, what is properly bound on earth can be bound in heaven.

Through Jesus Christ, the same kind of marriage and family relationship established here can continue eternally.

Temple marriage therefore does not treat marriage as merely a legal or temporary arrangement. It places the relationship inside God’s covenant plan and gives it an eternal purpose.

6. Represented by Christ Himself: Symbolism of Bride and Bridegroom

Marriage is so deeply woven into the Lord’s covenant language that scripture uses it to help us understand Jesus Christ Himself.

Christ is symbolized as the Bridegroom, and His Church is symbolized as His bride.

This symbolism teaches us about covenant belonging, faithfulness, unity, sacrifice, and an enduring relationship with God’s people. Marriage becomes an image Christ uses to help us understand His relationship with those who follow Him.

That does not mean that Christ’s relationship with His Church is identical to a mortal marriage. It does show that the language of bride and bridegroom is meaningful within God’s plan. Marriage is connected to covenant, not merely attraction or personal preference.

How Does Research Support These Truths?

BYU family scholar Jenet Jacob Erickson explains that the pattern of a married mother and father is not simply symbolic. Research consistently finds distinctive and complementary contributions from both.

She summarizes the findings about mothers and fathers simply:

“We need them. We need them both in their uniqueness.”

This research does not mean that every mother or father will contribute in exactly the same way or that every family will look identical. It does show that children and families can benefit from the different strengths, perspectives, and forms of care that mothers and fathers often provide.

The point is not competition between men and women. It is cooperation.

The Pattern Begins in Heaven and Leads Back to Heaven

Once you see this pattern, the Proclamation begins to read differently.

Its teaching about marriage is connected to something much larger than a rule about which two people may marry. It begins with Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, appears again with Adam and Eve, is carried into eternity through temple sealing, appears in scripture through Christ the Bridegroom, and is embodied in the mother-and-father union through which mortal life begins.

The world usually will teach that marriage is mainly a private relationship created by personal choice, the gospel teaches that marriage is part of the architecture of God’s eternal plan. It existed in heaven, was established by God at the beginning of mortality, and can continue beyond mortality through Jesus Christ.

That is why the pattern matters. God is not merely restricting relationships. He is revealing what marriage is for and inviting His children into a covenant form of love, unity, parenthood, and eternal progression.

Questions to Consider

• When you hear that you are a child of Heavenly Parents, how does that change the way you think about the importance of both mothers and fathers?
• Why do you think Jesus used Adam and Eve and the Creation story to teach people about marriage? What might that mean for marriage today?
• What can the image of Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church as His bride teach you about love, loyalty, and commitment?
• How can women and men be equal in worth without being exactly the same? How might that shape the way you think about dating, marriage, and family?